The most popular posts I have written here have been about soul-mates. I guess we are all really looking for that special person. The question I am wondering now is… Is a soulmate something a person can find?  If we believe that  a soulmate, true loves or twin souls are things for the masters of destiny then I suppose the blogging, reading, hoping and searching for a soulmate is in vain. Perhaps, the one will come into our lives when they are good and ready to. When the time is right and not a second before. No matter how much we pout and long for it…

What got me thinking about soul-mates again was a conversation I had  with my  little sister.
I was telling  her  about my new boyfriend when she asked“ but what about what’s his name…“
“ Who?“
“ Oh come on! You forgot about him. Remember you told me about how in class “your souls combined into one”.“
It is a long story (maybe in other post) but for a long time I was convinced with every bone in my body that an old class mate was my soulmate. He fit the description perfectly. Just like me he is  a meditation practicer, very spiritual, film student (  I am actress), into martial art ( I do karate) and even a freaking vegetarian like me. I was so entranced by him that I told my sister and everyone else who would listen about  how our souls combined when he was shared meditation partner in Mystical consciousness ( again long story)…
For well over a year, I  longed for this man even when we hadn’t talk in months. He was the one. Im was sure. I had no doubt.. but when my sister interrupted my rant about my boyfriend the first thing that popped out of my mouth
“ Oh him, that was so yesterday. Try to keep up…“
I hadn’t imagined a day when the fantasy of this guy would release me. I figured I would love from afar forever…but as wonderful as he is one thing can crush the dream of soulmate: reality.
As delightful as the *perspective* soulmate was we had never had a first date. It almost happened but it didn’t. Even though his hand against my  back could send chills down my spine and his eyes would leave me speechless… He also was too busy and was always traveling back home to spain. But what I have now is real: flesh and bones.  Having someone who is there for you, someone to talk to every day, someone to laugh with a lot  and some to dream about who you know is dreaming about you too beats any fantasy of Mr. right that  I could come up with…
And  when I hung out with my sister for a second I thought…
What if your true love is the guy who makes you forget about who you thought was your soulmate?
I don’t know.  Every time, I have thought he is the one I have been dead wrong. So I have giving up on trying * to know for sure* and the searching. But as for the hope there is a perfect one that  dream I think we  should all hold on to. Even when everything is going  right in a relationship love is scary. When it feels good is hard not to think about how many times you have  gotten hurt. It’s hard not to worry that you will be disappointed again. But  even though most relationships fail, its the dream of * the one* that keeps us going through the fear….