They say ( whoever they is) that when you are really stressed… too much to meditate that’s when you need meditation the most. But  is it possible to relax  into  single focusness when you are overwhelmed with anxiety?

The other night,  I couldn’t sleep again because my mind was batting around a million and one problems. I tried to  slash through my problems like a samurai with her sword. ” Stop worrying.” ” Relax, you shouldn’t be upset.”  But as I tried to calm myself my problems became more overwhelming. Then I tried to meditate * through* my issues. I  tried to focus  on my breath instead of my worries. As my tension only continue  to rise, I told myself that I should be able to meditate while troubled. After all, I had been practicing for years now. This only caused my stress level  to grow and grow until it felt like my head would explode.

So I gave up… I let my problems be there. I stop trying to fix my state. I allowed myself to be upset.  Then, a funny thing happened I calmed down. I was still upset but not overwhelmed. Eventually I dozed off to sleep.   Meditation can not begin without acceptance. Meditation is not the simple act of single-focusness. It is  being in a moment and accepting that moment. Being willing to accept and be in your current state. Even if that state is a crappy one…