Being a Long distant Love swan…

I was writing this for my other blog but since I believe Love is  mystical and magical I decided to crosspost it… ( hope u find it useful)

So you met on Second life, Wow, Match.com, Scary black planet or a random chat room while you were searching for teenagers ( hoping not to get caught by dateline)…
You are in love now and spending all your online time together. One day you will be living together or maybe married and happily ever after.
But in the meantime when you are miles or maybe even oceans apart how do you keep the love alive?

By taking advantage of that same great technology that brought you together. If you want to keep your Love life fun and exciting even from a distant try using simple communication tools in new ways.

Tools of Trade :

1. Cellphone: Yeah, yeah you can talk to you mate for hours on end. But there is so much more that little device can offer.

Texts: Communication is a big deal in Long distant relationships. If you far apart all you got is talking. But sometimes you don’t have endless things to say and that awkward pause on the other end can be uncomfortable for even the most talkative couples.

I like texts because you text when you got something to say or to respond. There is no pressure to keep the conversation going. Plus, it’s great for making your mate a part of your day. You can text at a work break, while eating or at other times when it would be hard to talk. If it’s done right you can make the receiver feel like they spent the day with you.

Tip: Heard that idea about leaving a posted note for your lover? Sending them short love texts work even better. If your mate shuts their phone off at night. A good trick is texting them when you know they are asleep or won’t hear it. Then they awake up with a cute surprise waiting!

Media Messages: If you want to keep your lover’s face burnt into your memory after months apart then cell cam/video and webcam are your friends. Cell media/pictures are useful for quick and anywhere/whenever shoots.

Tip: Send a picture or video clip everyday or few times a week. Go ahead be creativity and fun with them. Perhaps send a picture of the day showing your current mood. Be silly, be fun, be romantic and yes there ain’t nothing wrong with sexy shots.

2.Emails: With all the new and cool communication tools. Emails between mates are probably rare and seem kind of silly. If you talking and texting everyday why send a email? Because they are rare!! If I get an email from my mate, I am going to be curious and anxious to see what he sent.

Tip: I have always used emails as a way to say the things I might be to shy to say face to face or on the phone. Send an email when you want to say those romantic things that are hard for you. Send a email when you have something naughty but scary to say. They are also great for when you need to apologize or explain why you are upset/mad/sad or hurt to your mate. They are great tools to express the hard or embarrassing emotions.

3. Webcam/ims: For the long conversations…

Tip: Im while watching the same television show or movie ( again making it seem you both are in the same room). Be creative with your webcams…you can eat together on cam like in the movies and you can even leave it on while you fall asleep.

4.Join social networks together: Whether it is twitter, plurk, second life or etc if you add a few common friends then you create the *feeling* that you have a shared community. This comes in handy when your other friends say ” Why are you in that long distant relationship?” Your social networks friends will know both of you and will be the ones who tell you , ” You two are great together. So and so just doesn’t get it.” Plus, shared friends give you more to talk about and creates a stronger bond.

Scientists discover true love: Couple swans

Soulmate pt 3: The one who makes you forgot your soulmate

The most popular posts I have written here have been about soul-mates. I guess we are all really looking for that special person. The question I am wondering now is… Is a soulmate something a person can find?  If we believe that  a soulmate, true loves or twin souls are things for the masters of destiny then I suppose the blogging, reading, hoping and searching for a soulmate is in vain. Perhaps, the one will come into our lives when they are good and ready to. When the time is right and not a second before. No matter how much we pout and long for it…

What got me thinking about soul-mates again was a conversation I had  with my  little sister.
I was telling  her  about my new boyfriend when she asked“ but what about what’s his name…“
“ Who?“
“ Oh come on! You forgot about him. Remember you told me about how in class “your souls combined into one”.“
It is a long story (maybe in other post) but for a long time I was convinced with every bone in my body that an old class mate was my soulmate. He fit the description perfectly. Just like me he is  a meditation practicer, very spiritual, film student (  I am actress), into martial art ( I do karate) and even a freaking vegetarian like me. I was so entranced by him that I told my sister and everyone else who would listen about  how our souls combined when he was shared meditation partner in Mystical consciousness ( again long story)…
For well over a year, I  longed for this man even when we hadn’t talk in months. He was the one. Im was sure. I had no doubt.. but when my sister interrupted my rant about my boyfriend the first thing that popped out of my mouth
“ Oh him, that was so yesterday. Try to keep up…“
I hadn’t imagined a day when the fantasy of this guy would release me. I figured I would love from afar forever…but as wonderful as he is one thing can crush the dream of soulmate: reality.
As delightful as the *perspective* soulmate was we had never had a first date. It almost happened but it didn’t. Even though his hand against my  back could send chills down my spine and his eyes would leave me speechless… He also was too busy and was always traveling back home to spain. But what I have now is real: flesh and bones.  Having someone who is there for you, someone to talk to every day, someone to laugh with a lot  and some to dream about who you know is dreaming about you too beats any fantasy of Mr. right that  I could come up with…
And  when I hung out with my sister for a second I thought…
What if your true love is the guy who makes you forget about who you thought was your soulmate?
I don’t know.  Every time, I have thought he is the one I have been dead wrong. So I have giving up on trying * to know for sure* and the searching. But as for the hope there is a perfect one that  dream I think we  should all hold on to. Even when everything is going  right in a relationship love is scary. When it feels good is hard not to think about how many times you have  gotten hurt. It’s hard not to worry that you will be disappointed again. But  even though most relationships fail, its the dream of * the one* that keeps us going through the fear….

Wild and wise things my spirit guide told me…

Another entry for my series: Crazy but wise things my SG has said to me. Please see spirit guide tag for more information and entries on my spirit guide, Jerry… 

 

” I love you but I don’t need you. I know this is difficult for you to understand because you believe that love and need are connected. You think that it is a compliment to be needed in love. But it is much better that I love  you because I want to. I am not incomplete and looking to be filled up by love. If this was the case, once I was whole there would be no need to have you around. A love based by need is about using that person to fill a void. It is a greater compliment that even though I do not need anyone, even though I am ok by myself and have everything that I need, I still prefer to be with you then without you. A love based on need can not truly last but this sort… A love without conditions or needs or even reason has lasted lifetimes. Simply because we wanted it too…”