Finding the sacred ( A story)

A story I wrote almost two years ago but I think it’s fitting for this blog( as I recalled I wrote it in one sitting so it might not be a masterpiece. hehe)…

Jasmine’s face was buried in her copy of The Da Vinci Code borrowed from her faithful Public Library. She had barely been able to put this best seller down since it was delivered by the South Suburban interlibrary exchange. Her mind was kidnapped by Dan Brown’s suspenseful tale. Unfortunately her mind should have been on finishing  her homework for the last part of the semester.  But for the last week she  had chosen  to flip open  Brown’s novel instead her science textbook. 

It was the  book’s amazing popularity that inspired her to request the novel. Having seen it countless  times in the hands of some businessman or college student riding the Metra Line to Chicago, her curiosity got the better of her. She was pleasantly surprise that book enticed the new age freak  inside of her. She had a passion for anything Eclectic or Occult so she was pleased by the book’s knowledge about pagan symbolism. Of course she was already aware of the pagan tradition within Christianity. And she was not unacquainted with the theories about Mary’s and Jesus’ ‘true” relationship. Yet, she enjoyed the skillful  way Brown mixed conspiracy theories and art world mysteries  with Christian and Pagan history.

Jasmine had recently decided to the chagrin of her born-again parents that Christianity was not for her. But now she wondered if she would have stuck to her family’s sunday ritual of going to the First Baptist church of Calumet, if Christianity did in fact honored the sacred feminine. She wondered how different the modern world would be if  Christianity found it’s lost female divinity. 

She felt the train slowing down as it came to a stop. “ Homewood,” The barely audible automated voice shakily announced. As the train came to swift halt, she concluded that even if Jesus did have a wife, the church would never admit it no matter the evidence. Jesus would always walk the biblical world alone. Doomed to never find his counterpart. His  lost Holy Grail.


“ Hey there. How you doin’ “ ,  To her irritation Jasmine was  brought back to the world by familiar voice. Her frustration subsided when she looked up from her book and saw who the interrupter was. It was her train friend Antowion who was now sliding his way onto the seat next to her. 

“ I’m good”, She replied as she placed her book mark where she left off. The bookmark  had ribbons with silver  stars and moons attached  and a  engraving of a  the Les Brown’s quote “ Shoot for the moon even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”. 

“ I didn’t scared you did I”, Antowion said. He was the type of person whose self-consciousness made him believe that his presence was always bothering people.  Jasmine  tucked her book into to the front pocket of her book bag so she could give him her full attention. “you startled me a little”.

“ You don’t mind me sitting here do you? If  you want to go back to reading..”

“ No! You’re fine..talking to some one on the train always makes the ride go quicker”, She reassured him. He relaxed back against his chair. His eyes were straight ahead instead of looking directly at her. While Jasmine’s body was facing inward towards him, her eyes focused on the side of his face.  A  devilish smirk was on her face as she taunted Antowion “ You still hate woman”. 

Turning only part of his head towards her, he shook his finger symbolizing “ no, no,no” or “ shame, shame, shame on you”  while saying “ That’s not  what I meant. I never said I hate women”. 


Jasmine had been dealing with Antowion for two months now. They had met on the train. Actually they met on the outside of the train as they were leaving the metra and walking toward Columbia College in downtown Chicago. He was heading to the film building, she was heading across the street to the theatre building. They were both artists so they were of like-mind. Kindred Spirits…

 Jasmine and the young man were  standing  across the street from their respected buildings when she said,” Hi.. I thought I said Hi since I see you all the time”. 

He seem surprised by her speaking to him but not put off. They two introduced themselves  until they had to walk off in separate directions. From that moment on every time they saw each other on the train they sat together. Of course the first couple of times, Jasmine had to suggest that Antowion sit next to her  when she caught him walking past her seat.


“ I just done with with woman.. it’s all, I’m  concentrating on getting myself together ..  not worrying about some crazy woman” He continued on in his defense

“ Why we got to be crazy”, Jasmine replied still instigating. Their last conversation turned into a heated debate on the  conflicts between men and women. Actually in was more along the lines of “ why I hate man”, “ why I am though with woman”. Jasmine could not quite remember how they got on the subject but it probably started after she when on a tangent about  how horrible her ex-boyfriend was. Then Antowion followed suit by bring up has failed attempts at relationship and how he was abstaining from the pleasure of a woman. 

“ All I’m saying is that women don’t know what they want”, Antowoin gave his rebuttal.

“ I know exactly what I want.. A nice guy who will be good to me” After dealing with borderline abusive man since high school, Jasmine sincerely meant this. But Antowoin responded to her statement with a high-pitched proselytizing “HA!”  “ Woman always say they want a nice guy”, He continued “ But they never mean it. I’m taking Psychology of Woman and we were just deciding that today”

“ Why would a guy take that class? you trying to pick up girls. Thought you were done with us?” 

“ Well, I believe you should always keep your friends close and you enemies closer. I just wanted to know how my enemy’s mind worked”. At Antowion’s poor attempt at a joke. If It was a joke, at this Jasmine gave a “ what ever” sigh. Yet,  Antowion continue to preach about the woes of man. “  I was saying in class today, that you woman always talking about how you want a nice guy. But the truth is that you all want thugs. And none of the girls in the class disagreed. The truth is the nicer I treats you the less you are interested”

“ That’s not true. I want a actually want a nice guy. Always have”

“ Well.. you different. I could tell right away that you are different. You’re smart unlike most these girls I been dealing with”.

“ Exactly girls. You are confusing girls with women. Girls who are inexperienced don’t know what they want. They chase after these thugs who could give a damn about them. But women at least most of them have had enough heartbreak, that they long for a nice simple guy. Now granted we don’t want a punk. I will give you that. All women want a guy who will have her back. We want to have a man who can protect us. Who we will be safe with. You are a pretty big guy. You have no idea how vulnerable you feel when you are a petite woman like me. And a lot of women feel that way so they want a strong man. Just some of them get it twisted. Girls confused strong with thug. They just don’t realized that a gentleman can be just as if not stronger than a thug”

“ I don’t know about that I have met a lot of older women who play the same games as  these girls out here”

“ Then they are immature..  I was just telling this guy from my  ensemble  class the other day, if a girl don’t like you because you are nice guy than go the other way. Don’t pretend to be something you not. ‘Cause those type of girls are going to be nothing be drama. They think a relationship has to have conflict. They want a guy who they got to chase after for the rest of their lives. A guy whose never going to be about them. Always on the go, always putting her second. They need that drama. If they not getting it from you, they want cause it themselves”

“Hmm.. that’s why I’m done with woman. i don’t need that hassle. I’m going to be celibate. If you take sex out of the equation then women can’t have power over 



 Jasmine thought about the sex ritual in the Da Vinci code and how Langdon explained that pagans believe sex to be sacred and holy route to the divine. The secret sect portrayed in the book believed that man could only truly see a God though a woman. At organism, there was a pure moment of silent clarity where a man could see the face of divinity. And better yet feel that he was apart of the holy Oneness.

“ You’ll change your mind”, Jasmine said as Antowion gathered his things. His stop was next. “ Some pretty girl will walked by and you will forget all about  your vow of celibacy”

“ Ha”, he said it in that same high-pitched way he did before, “ I will never found a girl special enough to change my mind”. He said this as he rushed to make his stop.


Antowon was a nice guy, she thought. Too bad he wasn’t her type. He had a head that was too big even for his chubby and wide frame body. He wore plastic square framed glasses rid off from Malcolm X. Not too mention at 5’8 he was too short for her. She liked tall man. Her requirement was at least  six feet.  His face was dark and plain. Nothing to look at except the braces hidden in big-lipped mouth.

They only thing interesting about his features was his dimples which he blushed shyly about every time Jasmine mention them. Jasmine found them to be irresistibly adorable. But overall he wasn’t her type.Sweet good guy but not for her.

Jasmine  had fifteen minutes left on the train ride, so she opened up her book bag. Instead of The Da Vinci Code she pulled out a notebook. She open it to the page where she had written down all the courses she wanted to take. She was trying to figure out if she should drop the Acting three class she registered for. After all, she had finished all her major requirements and the rehearsal lab would interfere with a Gen Ed she very wanted to take- Humanities: Exploring the Goddess.


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