“In my belief, our pagan path is the path of pleasure, which means that it’s the path of gratitude. The essential practice of our spirituality is to appreciate all the good and beautiful things. Spirituality grows from basic theology, and our theologicial orietation is immanence. That means that we seek and find the sacred here and now, within the manifest world. From that perspective, sex is absolutely sacred, no more and no less sacred than a sunrise or a glorious piece of music, or any other beautiful experience. The idea is to be open to the beauty that surrounds us at all times, to be grateful, and to let that process gradually and gently bring us closer to the sacred.”
— Judy Harrow quoted in Rites of Pleasure :Sexuality in Wicca and NeoPaganism by Jennifer Hunter
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If I had to describe meditation in two words it would be Love and Acceptance. There are a various amount of topics, emotions, desires and so fourth one can meditate on to get to full clarity. No matter the meditation practice it’s leading to the same place. That place is accepting the world as is and Loving all that it entails.
The Tao te Ching states:
See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are
Love the world as your self;
than you can care for all things.
Yet, there are plenty of things and people in my life I can’t Love as if they were myself. At the moment there are so many elements of my Life especially my job status and living arraignment that are hard to accept. As usual I don’t have any answers but I recall a tip that my mentor shared once.
I have no clue if he got this from someone else but he suggested when things are tough say, ” This is my Life.” It’s great advice because no matter how much you want to run away from the present… The present moment is your life.
Even do it with people. When your mother is driving you nuts and you are wishing you were adopted say ” My mother is my life.” See how this changes how you feel about and deal with different people and situations.
It is a hard fight to accept the world as it is but the benefit is you don’t waste any of your life in denial or filled with hatred. Every moment, Every challenge, Every person, every success and every failure is your life.
I was writing this for my other blog but since I believe Love is mystical and magical I decided to crosspost it… ( hope u find it useful)
So you met on Second life, Wow, Match.com, Scary black planet or a random chat room while you were searching for teenagers ( hoping not to get caught by dateline)…
You are in love now and spending all your online time together. One day you will be living together or maybe married and happily ever after.
But in the meantime when you are miles or maybe even oceans apart how do you keep the love alive?
By taking advantage of that same great technology that brought you together. If you want to keep your Love life fun and exciting even from a distant try using simple communication tools in new ways.
Tools of Trade :
1. Cellphone: Yeah, yeah you can talk to you mate for hours on end. But there is so much more that little device can offer.
Texts: Communication is a big deal in Long distant relationships. If you far apart all you got is talking. But sometimes you don’t have endless things to say and that awkward pause on the other end can be uncomfortable for even the most talkative couples.
I like texts because you text when you got something to say or to respond. There is no pressure to keep the conversation going. Plus, it’s great for making your mate a part of your day. You can text at a work break, while eating or at other times when it would be hard to talk. If it’s done right you can make the receiver feel like they spent the day with you.
Tip: Heard that idea about leaving a posted note for your lover? Sending them short love texts work even better. If your mate shuts their phone off at night. A good trick is texting them when you know they are asleep or won’t hear it. Then they awake up with a cute surprise waiting!
Media Messages: If you want to keep your lover’s face burnt into your memory after months apart then cell cam/video and webcam are your friends. Cell media/pictures are useful for quick and anywhere/whenever shoots.
Tip: Send a picture or video clip everyday or few times a week. Go ahead be creativity and fun with them. Perhaps send a picture of the day showing your current mood. Be silly, be fun, be romantic and yes there ain’t nothing wrong with sexy shots.
2.Emails: With all the new and cool communication tools. Emails between mates are probably rare and seem kind of silly. If you talking and texting everyday why send a email? Because they are rare!! If I get an email from my mate, I am going to be curious and anxious to see what he sent.
Tip: I have always used emails as a way to say the things I might be to shy to say face to face or on the phone. Send an email when you want to say those romantic things that are hard for you. Send a email when you have something naughty but scary to say. They are also great for when you need to apologize or explain why you are upset/mad/sad or hurt to your mate. They are great tools to express the hard or embarrassing emotions.
3. Webcam/ims: For the long conversations…
Tip: Im while watching the same television show or movie ( again making it seem you both are in the same room). Be creative with your webcams…you can eat together on cam like in the movies and you can even leave it on while you fall asleep.
4.Join social networks together: Whether it is twitter, plurk, second life or etc if you add a few common friends then you create the *feeling* that you have a shared community. This comes in handy when your other friends say ” Why are you in that long distant relationship?” Your social networks friends will know both of you and will be the ones who tell you , ” You two are great together. So and so just doesn’t get it.” Plus, shared friends give you more to talk about and creates a stronger bond.
As I write this post I’m listening to the Idose’s Inspiration track ( to help me get the creative juices flowing for this post :P). Idose is a website offering streams of Binaural beats for anyone to listen to for free.
This website was recommended to me by my internets obsessive boyfriend Rob. He also shared with me a few weeks ago an blog post titled 10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship from Stepcase Lifehack blog. The author’s romantic suggestions in my opinion are a must read for any one in a relationship.
I also found some other gems on the blog like Back to basics: Procrastination- The good, the bad and the ugly ( since I planned on writing this post a week ago… I really needed procrastination advice.)
Anyway, next time you are feel like procrastinating mentally exploring check out those two websites… and waste your time in a semi-productive way 🙂
Maybe its just me but sometimes love makes me sick to my stomach. I tense up, I stress out and I want to run away from it. Just like any other strong emotion sometimes I just can’t sit with it. I can’t *be* with it…
I have done a lot pondering in this blog about finding true love. By lately, I been more interested in how to deal with love once you have it. Especially if when you think you have found the right mate but the time, solution or place isn’t right. When do you fight to be with someone and when is it just too hard?
Right now, I’m in a long distance relationship. But at the moment it doesn’t count as a long distance since he is now right next to me. I should be happy I get to spend almost 2 months living with my mate. But sometimes I can’t stay in the moment. My mind wants to rush ahead to when we have to part. Few night ago I found myself stressing out bout the situation until it occur there was only one thing I could do. Be in that moment. I went from worrying to just enjoying cuddling…
I believe that almost every problem can be eased by applying simple meditation technique..even problems with the heart. By taking a breath when I was panicky and be present with mate.
The second question is how do you know if a relationship is worth the effort. I think this too can be answer if we are present with how we feel. Listen to your heart and mind honestly and you will know if this person is right for us. I think we ( ( know I do) sometimes lie to ourselves. We see the red flags in a relationship but ignore them or we know the person in a good mate but run because of some fear. If I am honest about my current relationship the only worry i have is the distance. If I am really honest, I am looking for problems because it’s my nature to be suspicious of happiness…
So again I don’t really have any of the answers, just more to think about. I can only suggest if you are feeling stressed in relationship…Breath and be present in the feelings so you can understand them fully. Also, even if you have no worries remember to cherish every moment with your mate because the next minute isn’t promised to any of us.. So take a sec to feel their hand against yours…to look at that face you fall in love this .. Just be there with them…
The most popular posts I have written here have been about soul-mates. I guess we are all really looking for that special person. The question I am wondering now is… Is a soulmate something a person can find? If we believe that a soulmate, true loves or twin souls are things for the masters of destiny then I suppose the blogging, reading, hoping and searching for a soulmate is in vain. Perhaps, the one will come into our lives when they are good and ready to. When the time is right and not a second before. No matter how much we pout and long for it…
What got me thinking about soul-mates again was a conversation I had with my little sister.
I was telling her about my new boyfriend when she asked“ but what about what’s his name…“
“ Oh come on! You forgot about him. Remember you told me about how in class “your souls combined into one”.“
It is a long story (maybe in other post) but for a long time I was convinced with every bone in my body that an old class mate was my soulmate. He fit the description perfectly. Just like me he is a meditation practicer, very spiritual, film student ( I am actress), into martial art ( I do karate) and even a freaking vegetarian like me. I was so entranced by him that I told my sister and everyone else who would listen about how our souls combined when he was shared meditation partner in Mystical consciousness ( again long story)…
For well over a year, I longed for this man even when we hadn’t talk in months. He was the one. Im was sure. I had no doubt.. but when my sister interrupted my rant about my boyfriend the first thing that popped out of my mouth
“ Oh him, that was so yesterday. Try to keep up…“
I hadn’t imagined a day when the fantasy of this guy would release me. I figured I would love from afar forever…but as wonderful as he is one thing can crush the dream of soulmate: reality.
As delightful as the *perspective* soulmate was we had never had a first date. It almost happened but it didn’t. Even though his hand against my back could send chills down my spine and his eyes would leave me speechless… He also was too busy and was always traveling back home to spain. But what I have now is real: flesh and bones. Having someone who is there for you, someone to talk to every day, someone to laugh with a lot and some to dream about who you know is dreaming about you too beats any fantasy of Mr. right that I could come up with…
And when I hung out with my sister for a second I thought…
What if your true love is the guy who makes you forget about who you thought was your soulmate?
I don’t know. Every time, I have thought he is the one I have been dead wrong. So I have giving up on trying * to know for sure* and the searching. But as for the hope there is a perfect one that dream I think we should all hold on to. Even when everything is going right in a relationship love is scary. When it feels good is hard not to think about how many times you have gotten hurt. It’s hard not to worry that you will be disappointed again. But even though most relationships fail, its the dream of * the one* that keeps us going through the fear….
A story I wrote almost two years ago but I think it’s fitting for this blog( as I recalled I wrote it in one sitting so it might not be a masterpiece. hehe)…
Jasmine’s face was buried in her copy of The Da Vinci Code borrowed from her faithful Public Library. She had barely been able to put this best seller down since it was delivered by the South Suburban interlibrary exchange. Her mind was kidnapped by Dan Brown’s suspenseful tale. Unfortunately her mind should have been on finishing her homework for the last part of the semester. But for the last week she had chosen to flip open Brown’s novel instead her science textbook.
It was the book’s amazing popularity that inspired her to request the novel. Having seen it countless times in the hands of some businessman or college student riding the Metra Line to Chicago, her curiosity got the better of her. She was pleasantly surprise that book enticed the new age freak inside of her. She had a passion for anything Eclectic or Occult so she was pleased by the book’s knowledge about pagan symbolism. Of course she was already aware of the pagan tradition within Christianity. And she was not unacquainted with the theories about Mary’s and Jesus’ ‘true” relationship. Yet, she enjoyed the skillful way Brown mixed conspiracy theories and art world mysteries with Christian and Pagan history.
Jasmine had recently decided to the chagrin of her born-again parents that Christianity was not for her. But now she wondered if she would have stuck to her family’s sunday ritual of going to the First Baptist church of Calumet, if Christianity did in fact honored the sacred feminine. She wondered how different the modern world would be if Christianity found it’s lost female divinity.
She felt the train slowing down as it came to a stop. “ Homewood,” The barely audible automated voice shakily announced. As the train came to swift halt, she concluded that even if Jesus did have a wife, the church would never admit it no matter the evidence. Jesus would always walk the biblical world alone. Doomed to never find his counterpart. His lost Holy Grail.
“ Hey there. How you doin’ “ , To her irritation Jasmine was brought back to the world by familiar voice. Her frustration subsided when she looked up from her book and saw who the interrupter was. It was her train friend Antowion who was now sliding his way onto the seat next to her.
“ I’m good”, She replied as she placed her book mark where she left off. The bookmark had ribbons with silver stars and moons attached and a engraving of a the Les Brown’s quote “ Shoot for the moon even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”.
“ I didn’t scared you did I”, Antowion said. He was the type of person whose self-consciousness made him believe that his presence was always bothering people. Jasmine tucked her book into to the front pocket of her book bag so she could give him her full attention. “you startled me a little”.
“ You don’t mind me sitting here do you? If you want to go back to reading..”
“ No! You’re fine..talking to some one on the train always makes the ride go quicker”, She reassured him. He relaxed back against his chair. His eyes were straight ahead instead of looking directly at her. While Jasmine’s body was facing inward towards him, her eyes focused on the side of his face. A devilish smirk was on her face as she taunted Antowion “ You still hate woman”.
Turning only part of his head towards her, he shook his finger symbolizing “ no, no,no” or “ shame, shame, shame on you” while saying “ That’s not what I meant. I never said I hate women”.
Jasmine had been dealing with Antowion for two months now. They had met on the train. Actually they met on the outside of the train as they were leaving the metra and walking toward Columbia College in downtown Chicago. He was heading to the film building, she was heading across the street to the theatre building. They were both artists so they were of like-mind. Kindred Spirits…
Jasmine and the young man were standing across the street from their respected buildings when she said,” Hi.. I thought I said Hi since I see you all the time”.
He seem surprised by her speaking to him but not put off. They two introduced themselves until they had to walk off in separate directions. From that moment on every time they saw each other on the train they sat together. Of course the first couple of times, Jasmine had to suggest that Antowion sit next to her when she caught him walking past her seat.
“ I just done with with woman.. it’s all, I’m concentrating on getting myself together .. not worrying about some crazy woman” He continued on in his defense
“ Why we got to be crazy”, Jasmine replied still instigating. Their last conversation turned into a heated debate on the conflicts between men and women. Actually in was more along the lines of “ why I hate man”, “ why I am though with woman”. Jasmine could not quite remember how they got on the subject but it probably started after she when on a tangent about how horrible her ex-boyfriend was. Then Antowion followed suit by bring up has failed attempts at relationship and how he was abstaining from the pleasure of a woman.
“ All I’m saying is that women don’t know what they want”, Antowoin gave his rebuttal.
“ I know exactly what I want.. A nice guy who will be good to me” After dealing with borderline abusive man since high school, Jasmine sincerely meant this. But Antowoin responded to her statement with a high-pitched proselytizing “HA!” “ Woman always say they want a nice guy”, He continued “ But they never mean it. I’m taking Psychology of Woman and we were just deciding that today”
“ Why would a guy take that class? you trying to pick up girls. Thought you were done with us?”
“ Well, I believe you should always keep your friends close and you enemies closer. I just wanted to know how my enemy’s mind worked”. At Antowion’s poor attempt at a joke. If It was a joke, at this Jasmine gave a “ what ever” sigh. Yet, Antowion continue to preach about the woes of man. “ I was saying in class today, that you woman always talking about how you want a nice guy. But the truth is that you all want thugs. And none of the girls in the class disagreed. The truth is the nicer I treats you the less you are interested”
“ That’s not true. I want a actually want a nice guy. Always have”
“ Well.. you different. I could tell right away that you are different. You’re smart unlike most these girls I been dealing with”.
“ Exactly girls. You are confusing girls with women. Girls who are inexperienced don’t know what they want. They chase after these thugs who could give a damn about them. But women at least most of them have had enough heartbreak, that they long for a nice simple guy. Now granted we don’t want a punk. I will give you that. All women want a guy who will have her back. We want to have a man who can protect us. Who we will be safe with. You are a pretty big guy. You have no idea how vulnerable you feel when you are a petite woman like me. And a lot of women feel that way so they want a strong man. Just some of them get it twisted. Girls confused strong with thug. They just don’t realized that a gentleman can be just as if not stronger than a thug”
“ I don’t know about that I have met a lot of older women who play the same games as these girls out here”
“ Then they are immature.. I was just telling this guy from my ensemble class the other day, if a girl don’t like you because you are nice guy than go the other way. Don’t pretend to be something you not. ‘Cause those type of girls are going to be nothing be drama. They think a relationship has to have conflict. They want a guy who they got to chase after for the rest of their lives. A guy whose never going to be about them. Always on the go, always putting her second. They need that drama. If they not getting it from you, they want cause it themselves”
“Hmm.. that’s why I’m done with woman. i don’t need that hassle. I’m going to be celibate. If you take sex out of the equation then women can’t have power over
Jasmine thought about the sex ritual in the Da Vinci code and how Langdon explained that pagans believe sex to be sacred and holy route to the divine. The secret sect portrayed in the book believed that man could only truly see a God though a woman. At organism, there was a pure moment of silent clarity where a man could see the face of divinity. And better yet feel that he was apart of the holy Oneness.
“ You’ll change your mind”, Jasmine said as Antowion gathered his things. His stop was next. “ Some pretty girl will walked by and you will forget all about your vow of celibacy”
“ Ha”, he said it in that same high-pitched way he did before, “ I will never found a girl special enough to change my mind”. He said this as he rushed to make his stop.
Antowon was a nice guy, she thought. Too bad he wasn’t her type. He had a head that was too big even for his chubby and wide frame body. He wore plastic square framed glasses rid off from Malcolm X. Not too mention at 5’8 he was too short for her. She liked tall man. Her requirement was at least six feet. His face was dark and plain. Nothing to look at except the braces hidden in big-lipped mouth.
They only thing interesting about his features was his dimples which he blushed shyly about every time Jasmine mention them. Jasmine found them to be irresistibly adorable. But overall he wasn’t her type.Sweet good guy but not for her.
Jasmine had fifteen minutes left on the train ride, so she opened up her book bag. Instead of The Da Vinci Code she pulled out a notebook. She open it to the page where she had written down all the courses she wanted to take. She was trying to figure out if she should drop the Acting three class she registered for. After all, she had finished all her major requirements and the rehearsal lab would interfere with a Gen Ed she very wanted to take- Humanities: Exploring the Goddess.